I didn’t know a human could hold so much of my being in their existence. I love you so incredibly much, Amelia Rae. It’s been the most beautiful thing seeing you grow into your own little person, you are a hoot. Second holiday in 2 weeks that I haven’t been able to be with you, and this Friday makes 4 whole nights in 2 weeks that we haven’t been together. The most time I’ve ever spent away from you. It’s absolutely breaks my heart. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t need the break. To be a good parent, you have to be happy and healthy. Yes, my child is first, but one of those priorities is that I’m ready to raise 2 humans, including myself. 2019 will be all about us, and kicking life in the ass ✊🏼👊🏼 #AmeliaRaeMM #mommyandme #NewYearsEve #priorities #sweetbaby #coolbaby 😎 #blueeyes 💙 (at Seacliff State Beach)
https://www.instagram.com/p/BsEuQT5ger9V-HgoHsOX0tzjGZJfKeRhW92XwE0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=kdt0m4buckc3
Someone left over $200 of presents in a box outside our door and called themselves our “Secret Santa”. This portable chair and talking dog was one of them! We aren’t apart of any gift exchanges, so this was just an act of kindness from someone. Although it creeped me out getting an unknown text and a package at my door at 9pm…but we are still very grateful and even though my poor girl sick, Amelia is highly enjoying her haul! 🎁🎄🎅🏼 #AmeliaRaeMM #ChristmasEve #mommyandme #grateful #thankful #holidays #secretsanta (at Seacliff State Beach)
https://www.instagram.com/p/Brx_bvEgAvmS6a4lvPzBIBaxY_g_8wZ3CmnQ4w0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=c18wio5k5or3
Exactly 1 year ago on the left, today on the right.
.
.
So much has changed in these last 365 days. This time last year I couldn’t even fathom leaving my baby for an hour, let alone full days of work, or just full days by myself while you’re with your dad. I’m proud of us for many reasons, even with the mistakes and bad days. Lots of growth, mentally and physically between the two of us. We have also made it almost 15 months nursing 🎉 Everyday is a learning curve, but we’re learning together. #AmeliaRaeMM #blueeyes #normalizebreastfeeding 🐄 #365days #flashback #somuchmilk 😳 (at Seacliff, California)
https://www.instagram.com/p/BrOWAnTgWDYhtJO3yGL7mHelIWEBZR7rb38-zw0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=5s0hny2aboei
When the hat you got for Christmas last year finally comes in handy 🌧🌧🌧🌧 Catch me doing rain dances all month. Bring it on, winter 🥶❄️💦⛈☔️ #rainyweek #fall #autumn 🍂🍁 #wool #cozy (at Seacliff, California)
https://www.instagram.com/p/Bqyoj37AHugj2E332Ozkrt53SYaQCEW3xbDXuU0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1iw7is4s2z7dg
It’s been a few years, but no better time to start back up making beautiful Christmas wreaths again, than with my 1 year old! 🎁❣️
Thank you to everyone who helped and played with her, and @ravenscroftdesign & @supmayz for the special yearly tradition! 🎄❄️ ✨ #AmeliaRaeMM (at Santa Cruz, California)
https://www.instagram.com/p/BqlWQ-AgQNPbjGGvzoBd-bnfg0lB9l7pyNyqrg0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=m2b8udhze1bu
Happy Thanksgiving 🦃🍁 I am thankful for my beautiful, smart daughter, who I was lucky enough to spend this holiday with. Things are much different than they were “supposed” to be, but we’re making it work. I’m learning how to be happy and confident in myself and my decisions, and that stems right down to her.
.
It’s all about you, baby girl 💓 #AmeliaRaeMM #cheesin #Thanksgiving2018 #coparenting #thankful #mommyandme
https://www.instagram.com/p/BqgtvK4g2709AiTuuHOMih3t4G4gAh1adFCyoM0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=m9ok9g4o2hh7
Happy Halloween 🎃👻🦇😈
Faithful Giants Ladies 🖤🧡 Such a good evening with @cheyennerosieposie & @eganxsean, with friends and family. Thanks for having us!! #OrangeOctober #Halloween2018 #AmeliaRaeMM #mommyandme #SanFracisco #Baseball #Giants @sfgiants ⚾️💨 (at Seascape Beach Resort)
https://www.instagram.com/p/Bpn_lzzAkY3Zp1T77B4aNLHqwxhvpmIcKTCEYs0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1kmc2edxrrm8f
✨💫🌟FUTURE ASTRONAUGHT🌟💫✨ @nasa #AmeliaRaeMM #NASA #13months #oneyearold #biggirl #bravegirl #blueeyes 💙 (at Seacliff State Beach)
https://www.instagram.com/p/BphpMUngaz8vGtI9BQdwgHcDcHR7AWypisC1fo0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1c18jrs4xydwh
One year old 👑🎈& One year nursing🤱🏻! We did it! 🎉 Proud of us. More than I can say. I love you baby girl💞 #AmeliaRaeMM #blueeyes 💙 #SeptemberBaby #092117 #normalizebreastfeeding #babylove #mywholeworld
https://www.instagram.com/p/BoAeAKuAZTR9AoWevUsgpGLFjaTQmxr0dUktYU0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1kfcqv4lnemjz
Thank you for loving me unconditionally, you magical being 🦄✨
& Thank you grandma @chellaylay71_bod_fit_ for the cozy blankey!! #AmeliaRaeMM #mommyandme #unicornmagic #snugglebug #blankeygirl #buddahbelly (at Seacliff State Beach)
https://www.instagram.com/p/Bnp6E-7FtHhymp610gPVA50iS-z_UbBtc2FQ4M0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=59y1cs60h523
I am literally the worst
At letting my guard down. I am so fucking weak it’s not even funny.
How did I become this human that acts so fucking stubborn and tough but can’t even handle myself alone. Because I fucking hate being alone, unless I choose to be alone myself.
I love my alone time, but only when I choose.
Why am I such a retched person?
Sometimes I really think this is the case after even having someone’s baby and within a year they don’t even want to be my family anymore.
Splitting from my baby’s father has literall whirlwinded me like I didn’t even expect.
This is exaggerated and I’m complaining. But it is what it is.
I’m upset.
But of course I’ll be okay. I always am. And especially now with my baby girl.
But, fuck. I will make sure this girl of mine can stand her own and have her own all at the same time.
Girl power 👊🏼
Who still sees my posts?
I’ve consistently posted my photos from Instagram on here since I’ve been completely absent otherwise, on tumblr.
I used to LOVE LOVE LOVE this site! And still follow some friends that I met on here, on social media, which is amazing.
It’s been years since I’ve been active here. I miss it. I miss having the time to see the pretty photos and see the things I find interesting in food, and also relate to the emotional things people post.
Thinking about coming here to release some steam, like journaling. I kind of want it to be on a public platform. Not for attention but for relation? Maybe other people can feel like they’re not alone.
Especially now that I am a MOTHER. To a beautiful almost 1 year old girl 💓 it can be so isolating. Especially if you have a particularly fussy baby (over here 😭).
And even more when you have to do it in a completely different manner than you planned to.
A broken heart is hard to care for when you have a million other pieces to pick up on a daily basis.
Oh, my sweet 11 month old girl 😍 Those baby blues melt my entire being. Our first road trip went very well, there and back. Proud of us.
.
.
.
Both of our first time visiting Pinecrest, last night at sunset. So beautiful!! Thank you auntie @joslynec for always letting me make myself at home, and now especially with my daughter 💞💗 #AmeliaRaeMM #11months #mommyandme #snugglebug #sweetgirl #roadtrippin #travelinggirls (at Pinecrest Lake)
https://www.instagram.com/p/Bm4yoZhBD7SiWPeaw5b-IyMrrZ5sxrZl-Z1_jw0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=a4wdqk6fqkqh
If know someone who breastfeeds or you are supportive of breastfeeding, Please click the link in my bio!!!
.
.
This petition is trying to help change the “federal breastfeeding age”!
.
.
Right now jobs only have to allow mothers time to pump breastmilk until the child is 1 year old.
My Amelia is almost 1, in 2 months. She still STRONGLY breastfeeds, and I work. I’m getting nervous about having to stop pumping at work. It is so uncomfortable and unhealthy for us not to pump when we need to. And also effects our supply greatly, which can lead to our milk drying up.
.
.
Please sign and share!! You can unsubscribe from the emails if you’re worried about that! This is SO IMPORTANT! We have until August 20th!! Share, pass on!!
(Petition Link is at the bottom of the article in my bio!)
.
.
#normalizebreastfeeding #10monthsstrong #breastfeeding #nursing #nurture #comfort #growth #liquidgold 🤱🏻
As of 7/21 this little girl is 10 months old! How is it that two months and you’re 1 year? Since that terrible stay in the hospital? Since I didn’t know what in the hell I was doing? And now I don’t know what else to do. The light of my life. My sassy girl. The one who drives me insane. You were given to me for a reason.
.
.
.
Swipe➡️ for the sassiness👏🏼 #AmeliaRaeMM #10months #summer2018 #babygirl 💘 (at Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk)